Mugabe tells supporters he still gets regular erections

At a large youth rally this afternoon Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe (93) reassured supporters that he is in fine physical condition hinting that he had no issues in the bedroom. His wife Grace (53) who is famous for wearing her heart on her sleeve chuckled visibly using a napkin to hide her laughter.

Political pundits have been speculating about Mugabe’s health for weeks after Press Secretary George Charamba stated the President’s physical and cognitive abilities had reached a “crisis point.” The Zimbabwean leader who will celebrate his 30th year in office in December responded to the allegations saying he “was going nowhere.”

Comical Ali

Press Secretary Charamba held a conference Friday stating he was resigning due to “personal issues.” At the conference he announced that Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf known as “Comical Ali” would be replacing him stating that Al-Sahhaf is uniquely qualified for the job. “I have seen Mohamed’s great work as Saddam Hussein’s Minister of Information during the invasion of Iraq in 2003. He denied that American forces had entered Iraq even when we could clearly see American tanks behind him, being able to stick to the script under such pressure is a skill he will need here in Zimbabwe too.”

comical ali

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